The Slice: Oh, baby! That’s quite a target

I hadn’t seen one of those signs in ages.

But there it was, in the rear window of the car ahead of me in traffic: “Baby on board.”

Seeing no sign of an actual infant in that vehicle, I thought about ramming it. But I was driving a company car and that would have generated a lot of paperwork.

“The Slice’s more or less annual Earth Day Eve ranking of the planets: 9. Jupiter: The Texas of planets. 8. Uranus: There’s no there there. 7. Mercury: Overheated little purse dog. 6. Saturn: Ring-a-ding-ding. 5. Neptune: Failed to live up to preseason hype. 4. Venus: Hey, I’ve got your global warming. 3. Mars: Did she or didn’t she? 2. Pluto: Poised for a comeback. 1. Earth: Home of all the idiots in the solar system, but it also has tigers, grizzlies and whales.

“Bark and all: In response to a Slice query, several readers told about how merely going out their own back door sets off the neighbor’s dog. A few of my correspondents were mildly amused about this. Others, however, were not.

It got me thinking about dealing with neighbors here in the land of rugged, independent westerners. I have a theory that, because their expectations of others are so low, some people don’t even bother trying to talk to the folks next door about problems. Actually, it’s more than a theory. I’ve heard people say precisely that.

They just assume interaction would make a bad situation worse, that it would instantly turn into a fight. Then, instead of simply having a loud dog to put up with, you might find yourself angry about a frustrating or insulting exchange of words. That could be the first step toward a border war that would erode your peace of mind.

Spokane likes to think of itself as a friendly place. But I’m not sure how many of us really believe that.

“Things You Don’t Want to Hear Department: “It looks like there is some decay beneath one of your old fillings.”

“Skunk story: Curt Stone’s wife, Maggi, was talking with a woman who mentioned that she had caught a skunk in a cage-like trap. This woman said she planned to drown the animal in her pond.

So Maggi told her that she and her husband would take care of it instead.

When the Colville couple arrived at the location of the steel trap, the skunk had been in it for at least 16 hours. There was evidence that it had tried to dig its way out.

“I threw a tarp over the cage, picked it up, and put the whole thing in the back of our truck,” wrote Curt. “We drove up to Trout Lake and released the skunk. He seemed very happy as he waddled off.”

“Slice answers: Apparently, in more than a few families, the gritty deposits that collect in the corners of the eyes during slumber are called “eye boogers.”

“Today’s Slice question: Would speed bumps in all residential neighborhoods be a good idea?