Hollywood to critics: Bite on this!

Three of the four films that are supposed to open in Spokane this week are apparently so crappy that critics weren’t allowed to see them in advance.

As if anything critics could say about “Kickin’ it Old Skool ,” “The Invisible” or “Next” would keep moviegoers away from – or force them to go to – any of the three.

All are getting lots of promo time on television. And anyone who has gone to the movies over the past couple of months has seen the trailers.

So what exactly is the point of keeping the critics away? It’s purely a power play. When movie-production companies, distributors and exhibitors don’t need critics, they shut them out. When they do need them, they do their best to get the most favorable comments possible.

I’ve attended press junkets where I was offered free flights, hotel rooms, access to stars and directors in suites full of delicious things to eat and drink – and I still ended up writing so-so or witheringly negative reviews.

Bet on this one thing: The movies will open with what look to be positive comments. But they’ll come from guys like Larry King who, apparently, will say anything just to see his own name in print.

He’s the guy, you’ll recall, who said “The Good Shepherd” was “the best spy film ever.” Right, and pig feed tastes like key lime pie.