The Slice: We can lei this one to rest now

This is the time of year when a lot of people around here ask themselves the same question.

So I’m going to go ahead and answer it.

No, you are not the only person in this area who has never been to Hawaii.

“Slice answer: Amy Teel misspelled “field” during a third-grade spelling bee. Her last name at the time was Horsfield.

“Announcing The Slice’s Faded Furniture Contest: Many of us have a certain chair or couch that should have been retired long ago.

Sometimes the upholstering has worn out so completely that you can feel the wood or springs every time you sit down. Or maybe the medley of stains has reached the point where flipping over the cushions is no longer an answer.

For whatever reason, though, you haven’t put this tired piece out by the curb with a “FREE” sign.

Why not? Maybe it’s just that you can’t afford a replacement right now. But sometimes we form attachments to certain chairs, et cetera, that can be difficult to explain. Your job is to try.

Send The Slice a description of a piece of your furniture that has seen better days and then offer a brief theory about why you have kept it. Photos are optional.

Entries need to arrive at Slice Headquarters by Feb. 11.

“Reaching a new low: Ron Hardin was at a drugstore, trying to locate those medicated heat strips used for back pain. He wasn’t having any luck.

So he asked a store clerk for help. That guy told him where to find them.

“As I walked away, I heard him remark to another employee about how all the back pain medication is located on the lowest possible shelf,” wrote Hardin.

That turned out to be exactly the case.

“I had to bend way down to get the item from the lowest shelf. I don’t know how people with severe back pain could even reach the stuff.”

The experience left Hardin with two questions.

“1. Are there other cases of poor placement of merchandise at local stores?

“2. Why didn’t those employees do something about the situation rather than just joke about it?”

“Five drawbacks to wearing a hood: 1. Can reduce your peripheral vision. 2. Impairs your ability to hear. 3. Can muss your hair even more than a tighter-fitting hat. 4. If you want to steal a glace at a member of the opposite sex off to your side, you’ve got to twist your whole torso around in a ridiculous way. 5. If the hood is not fairly snug around your face and the weather is blowing right at you, it can be like having your head in a wind sock.

“Oh, it’s just you: You know that one pizza commercial that includes the sound of a doorbell? Well, Judy McKeehan’s dog goes running to answer the door every time it comes on.

“Today’s Slice question: When you see someone at a party who appears to be ill at ease, what do you do?