The Slice: Driving forces must be at work

It has long been true that one of the good things about Spokane is the relatively short commutes from home to work.

That’s not always the case, though. Some people elect to live way out in the boondocks.

That’s their right, of course. I can’t say that I understand it. But it’s a free country.

Anyway, here are my Top 9 theories about why some of us choose to reside in places that necessitate long, time-consuming drives.

1. Some people just like being out away from everything.

2. Belief that 20 percent of those who live in Spokane are sex offenders or burglars.

3. Sort of enjoy a long drive. “It clears my head.”

4. Self-image shaped by country music videos.

5. Don’t want some busybody neighbor or clipboard-toting bureaucrat raising a stink about old cars, dogs or firewood.

6. It turned out to be the most affordable option.

7. It’s quiet.

8. Proximity to camping, the lake, et cetera.

9. Aspirations of eventually turning home into a “compound.”

OK, now it’s your turn. If you work in town but live out in the country, please tell me why. As always, I’ll be happy to share some of your answers.

“Here’s what can happen when you show up in The Slice: Not long ago, Sandy Gerber was quoted in this space as saying he didn’t want to see anyone but ballplayers wearing ballcaps.

As it happens, Gerber is president of Spokane’s Central Lions Club. And when he arrived for that group’s most recent meeting, he was greeted by the sight of all of the other members wearing a ballcaps.

“Some things don’t lend themselves to simple answers: Melinda Norman’s 7-year-old nephew overheard his grandmother talking about going to see a naturopath.

That made the boy curious. “What’s wrong with your nature?” he asked.

“Just wondering: Where would Spokane rank on a list of cities with the greatest number of drivable Studebakers?

“Slice answer (swimsuit calendars using employees at a certain workplace as models): “Beauty comes from within, too,” wrote Janet Culbertson. “I work with a very diverse group of beautiful human beings at the Whitworth Book Store on campus. They are all ages and backgrounds and we get along wonderfully. Laughter is constantly present yet they are a hard working group. And yes, they would look great on a calendar.”

“War of words: A colleague drives by a concrete retaining wall on her way to the gym. She noticed that someone had spray-painted “World Peace” and a peace sign on it.

Then, after a couple of weeks, someone else painted over that and then wrote “Kill Terrorists!”

Stay tuned.

“Today’s Slice question: Should Spokane face facts about the source of the problem and slap a “Litter cleanup tax” on fast-food restaurants?