The Slice: This one time, at the national championships

The Slice would not be the first to note that, in certain pictures, figure skater Emily Hughes and actress Alyson Hannigan look a bit alike.

But if you run into the fresh-faced Ms. Hughes this week, you might be better off not reciting lines to her from the “American Pie” movies. You know, “This one time, at band camp…”

After the first thousand times, that probably gets old.

“Slice answer: “Our fireplace story took place many years ago when we had a two-story house with a fireplace,” wrote Judy Orr.

“Our cat had six kittens.”

Don’t worry. This has a happy ending.

One summer night, at about 2 a.m., the momma cat started wailing.

“When we found her, she was pacing around the fireplace ash trap. It seems the kittens had been playing in the fireplace and one of them stepped on the trap door and two of them fell into the hole.”

The humans studied the situation and came up with a plan.

“We found an old sheet, knotted it and dropped it down,” wrote Orr. “We quickly got them out.”

Except for temporarily being two of the sootiest felines in the history of Spokane County, they were OK.

So let that be a lesson to you.

“If Gladys Tolliver of Kettle Falls were named czarina: Spitting in public – especially at this time of year – would be a hanging offense.

Out of consideration for Slice readers having breakfast, I’ll spare you her graphic description.

“Periodicals harvest: A South Hill woman came across a notice that the public library in Yakima was getting rid of back issues of magazines. So she sent an e-mail asking if she could dibs copies of The New Yorker. She had a decorating idea involving the covers.

A librarian wrote back, saying they were hers for the taking. “She said they were in Apple boxes.”

The Spokane woman immediately pictured computer components. As that involves boxes of different sizes, she wrote back for additional details.

It turned out the librarian was talking about fruit crates.

Said the wised-up Spokane woman, “I guess when one is in Yakima, the word ‘apple’ has only one meaning.”

“That’s one way to put it: “The real estate euphemism that made me howl was when an agent cheerfully said a pet-damaged, run down house had ‘delayed maintenance,’ ” wrote Sue Swanson.

“Warm-up questions: Ever deal with people in other parts of the country who have Spokane confused with Tacoma? What little town around here has the best/worst assortment of street names?

“Today’s Slice question: What talent are you an expert at spotting?