Doug Clark: Protesters whip up hatred – toward themselves

Hosting the U.S. Figure Skating Championships was supposed to bring new people into Spokane.

But I’m betting none of the boosters expected to draw wing nuts like Shirley L. Phelps-Roper.

The woman staked out some patches of sidewalk near the Spokane Arena for about an hour Tuesday night. Joining her were Jonah, her 9-year-old son, and her sister-in-law, Paulette Phelps.

They dropped by to protest the event because (to paraphrase their twisted/tortured logic) some skaters are gay and God hates gays, ergo …

These visitors didn’t use the word “gay” in their press release. Or signage. They prefer variations of the demeaning three-letter word that begins with an F.

Meeting Phelps-Roper made me think of an “F-word” with six letters.

Freaks.

Honestly. I haven’t encountered zealots this wild-eyed since the days Richard Butler and his Aryan Nations were defiling North Idaho.

Note to the city street department: Send a cleanup crew to Boone and Howard and hose down the southwest corner. You’ll want to use some kind of industrial -strength Lysol. Having these holy losers hanging around probably contaminated the sidewalk worse than a toxic waste spill.

You’re probably wondering where fools like this come from. The answer – as with Dorothy and Toto – is Kansas.

Phelps-Roper is part of Westboro Baptist Church, a Topeka-based warren of wackos run by her father, Fred Phelps. The Golden Rule (not to mention civility, manners, good taste …) is not a big part of the theology, I’m guessing.

Members have made news by picketing military funerals, holding placards that read “Thank God for Dead Soldiers” and “Soldiers die, God laughs.”

They pulled this terrible stunt at a Yakima soldier’s funeral a couple of years ago.

Rabidly homophobic, members claim soldier deaths (or virtually any tragedy from natural disasters to mass killings) is actually payback from the Big G because of the nation’s blossoming acceptance of gays.

To borrow an old joke from a minister I once knew: Members of the Westboro congregation are so narrow-minded they could all look through the same keyhole at the same time and not squint.

From what I gather, anybody who doesn’t swallow their poisoned Kool-Aid dogma is headed down the highway to hell. Gerald Ford, Coretta Scott King and even those Pennsylvania Amish schoolchildren who were murdered are there already, according to their Web site.

What must it be like to get up every day oozing with so much hate?

You’d think all their heads would simultaneously explode.

No wonder 28 states (including Kansas) have passed laws to rein in the group’s funeral protests. Likewise, Washington lawmakers, according to a Spokesman-Review story, are pushing a bill to ban “disruptive behavior” within 500 feet of a military funeral.

The bill passed the House 89-5 on Monday. It is headed for the Senate, where Sen. Lisa Brown, D-Spokane, says passage is assured.

Let’s hope so.

It would be easier to laugh off such fools if it weren’t for their over-the-top levels of bad behavior.

Or poor Jonah.

Adults believing such claptrap is one thing.

Brainwashing some kid is just vile.

Note to Jonah: I realize you’re only 9. You don’t know any better.

But in a short time you’ll hit those rebellious years all teenagers experience.

You’ll start having moments of independent thought. You’ll start thinking the adults in your life are crazy.

Trust those feelings.

The adults in your life ARE crazy. They’re nuttier than a carload of PayDay bars.

Run, Jonah, run!