The Slice: Disdain is fine, but ignorance just won’t cut it

For those with a militant lack of interest in sports, next week is big.

The days leading up to Super Bowl Sunday offer countless opportunities to say, “I don’t care.”

I’m told that can be richly satisfying.

With the possible exception of the first week of the NCAA basketball tournament in March, the lead-up to the NFL championship game might be the best time of year for those who truly enjoy projecting an air of boredom re: sports.

For some, this can be a form of performance art.

“Watch the Super Bowl? Ahahahahaha. Right. Like I need to see five hours of beer commercials.”

Sure, some nonfans are apologetic about not knowing who is playing or why they are supposed to give a rip about some overpaid quarterback’s bid for redemption, et cetera. But the person who truly revels in his or her cluelessness about athletics takes pride in standing apart from the TV nation herd.

Here’s the thing, though. There is a fine line between understandable lack of interest and off-putting disdain.

You can’t blame someone for growing weary of the inescapable yammering about the Super Bowl. After all, it’s not as if anyone is saying anything new.

Still, some nonfans become so polarized in their anti-football attitudes that they start to seem, well, bitter.

You don’t want that to happen to you.

So here are a few pregame tips for those who really, really, really don’t care.

There’s an excellent argument to be made that our society’s obsession with sports is absurd. No question. When you think about all our real problems, that’s a slam-dunk.

Still, viewing every allusion to the Super Bowl as an invitation to spew an angry rant about misguided priorities can get old. You don’t want to be known as “that preachy guy.”

My advice is to pick your spots.

Wait for the most egregious hype balloons before pulling out your pin.

Do: Remember that a fair number of people who attend Super Bowl parties don’t know a blitz package from a bag of high-fructose chips.

Don’t: Assume that those who talk about sports are without other, more important interests.

Also, I’m sure there actually are people who know next to nothing about the game. That’s fine, of course. But every once in a while you run into individuals who appear to believe it is appealing to feign a totality of ignorance.

“The Super Bowl? What’s that?”

Please. It’s one thing to have more exalted values. It is quite another to think that being a no-media cultural dimwit is a winning pose.

Feel free to reject the Super Bowl and everything for which it stands. I wouldn’t fault you. But if you are going to pretend that you are utterly unaware of its existence, you’d better have a pretty convincing foreign accent.

“Today’s Slice question: What area hotel has the best room service?