Not all summer movies are created equal

If you think that all summer movies are created equal, just go to see “Transformers” and “Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer.” The qualitative differences between the two would be obvious to a blind gerbil.

“Transformers” may be a Michael Bay film, but it’s arguably the best that Bay has done – for what that’s worth. It features decent acting, a script filled with funny characters, a tone that walks the line between comedy and action drama with flair and kick-ass special effects. It’s the most entertaining summer blockbuster since “Independence Day.”

“Fantastic Four,” on the other hand, is merely an extension of the original. Which is to say, it’s a story about four extremely different characters trying to save the world – in between their silly spats of quarrelling. The Human Torch is arrogant (but lonely), Thing is boorish, the Invisible Woman (no “Painkiller Jane” she) is worried more about her wedding than the future of Earth and Mr. Fantastic has to sneak around on his fiancée just so he can invent the technology that will defeat the deadly threat posed by the Silver Surfer .

Great. Jerk, boor, cheerleader and nerd. This is just the combination that appeals to the 14-year-old in some of us. But it’s hardly something that feels fresh in the early 21st century.

The army general played by Andre Braugher says it best when, angry at the quartet’s squabbling, he yells, “What the hell is wrong with you people?”

We should ask the same thing of director Tim Story and his team of screenwriters (beginning with series co-creator Stan Lee and proceeding through “Twin Peaks” co-creator Mark Frost).

Below: The Invisible Woman (Jessica Alba) confronts the Silver Surfer (voice by Laurence Fishburne) as her fiance, Mr. Fantastic (Ioan Gruffudd) looks on in “Fantastic Four: The Rise of the Silver Surfer.”

Associated Press