The Slice: When all else fails, apparently it’s hello kitty

I want to address the big “secret” that no one in Spokane seems willing to talk about.

Before we get to that, though, I have a question.

Have you ever noticed that newspaper photographers always seem to find a way to get cats into pictures of gardens, kitchens and what have you? Sure. You see it over and over.

I’ve known a lot of newspaper photographers over the years. So I can tell you. These people are not dopes.

They know what readers want. And apparently what readers want is pictures that include cats.

OK, not everyone is wild about felines. Evidently, though, it’s assumed that most newspaper readers enjoy seeing kitties curled up and looking cute in the corner of feature photos.

Ages ago, I worked with an old-school photographer who just chuckled when colleagues accused him of carrying shoes and teddy bears in his trunk — subtle “accent point” items he supposedly would add to accident scenes before getting out his camera.

I suspect it was not true. Stunts like that would have rightly gotten him fired.

But I have to admit something. I have, on occasion, wondered if certain of the S-R’s staff photographers employ professional “prop” cats.

Here’s how I think it might work.

The photographer gets an assignment to take a picture of someone’s home or garden. He or she thinks, “Hmmm, this photo might be a bit lackluster.”

The solution? Pick up Fluffy or Muffin on the way to the shoot. Then, when no one is looking, the photographer cues the cat to take up a position inside the frame. Suddenly, a so-so picture now includes a small lion in repose. Much better.

After the assignment, there are pats on the head and tuna.

Maybe I’m wrong. Call me crazy. But something tells me it wouldn’t be the first time someone at a newspaper had turned to cats when the well of creativity had run dry.

OK, I was going to shine a light on something Spokane has swept under the rug for far too long. But first, just one more thing about newspaper photographers and cats.

Day after day, professional photojournalists deal with people who protest that they do not want to be in a picture. Some of these folks undoubtedly are quite sincere. Others are just pretending to be shy.

Still, it must be refreshing to encounter creatures who are totally confident about their appearance. And if you know anything at all about cats, you know that they tend to regard themselves as pretty darned adorable.

“I’m ready for my close-up now.”

Looks like I’ve run out of space. I might have actually been able to get to the point here, but I wanted to leave room for a picture of a cat.

“Today’s Slice question: What if people in your workplace spit like professional athletes?