New Lohan movie is a must-see

Following are seven reasons why you have to stop whatever you’re doing and go out to see the new Lindsay Lohan movie, “I Know Who Killed Me” :

1, You get to see Lohan try to look all sexy and stuff while playing the only “exotic dancer” in the history of the planet to perform for paying customers without removing her bra.

2. The film demonstrates just how far Julia Ormond ’s career has fallen since the days she starred in “Legends of the Fall” (1994) and “First Knight” (1995).

3. You get to see extended sequences of the obligatorily masked killer sawing rotting body parts off Lohan’s freckled body.

4. Director Chris Sivertson gives you the opportunity to see a bona-fide straight-to-video production playing on the big screen.

5. You need an excuse to spend an hour, 45 minutes in air-conditioned coolness.

6. You get to hear Lohan actually say, “I know who killed me!”

7. And, finally, you need to see it because you prefer doing that to having six-inch-long, razor-sharp needles shoved into your eyes.

Below: In “I Know Who Killed Me,” Lindsay Lohan gives further proof of why her career is in big trouble.

Associated Press