Doug Clark: Feed meter, but watch your fingers

The United States political system is based on a sacred compact whereby we:

A. Elect the best and the brightest who …

B. Rip us off like Three Card Monte dealers.

This is called democracy, of course. And Spokane’s political leaders are experts at living up to this grand American tradition of governmental screwage.

The City Council, for example, is currently considering a 25 percent raise in parking meter rates in an effort to keep even more shoppers from coming downtown.

True, this could be achieved faster by surrounding the business core with 8-foot fences topped with razor wire. But charging more to plug parking meters has the added attraction of directly gouging citizens. That’s Job One for Lilac City leaders.

The parking meter hike was the topic du jour Tuesday when I wandered into Domini’s – Spokane’s leading sandwich artisans – for a turkey/Swiss on French with mayo.

The Domini brothers, like all downtown merchants, fear charging parkers more will have a deleterious effect on the flow of commerce.

Downtown parking has always been a sore subject with business owners who want to believe that Spokane government is on their side.

Oh, the poor silly fools.

You do have to hand it to whoever made our parking plan such an ingenious system of checks and balances.

The “checks” are what you have to write to cover the tickets that come when the “balance” of your meter time inevitably expires.

Studies show that no matter where you park on a Spokane street it is impossible to hit a Macy’s sale and return to the car in time to avoid a citation.

Spokane parking enforcement deserves all the credit. It is the one branch of city government that actually works.

Getting a pothole repaired can run into years. Getting a parking ticket is as reliable as gravity.

Our parking prowling predators are like keen-eyed eagles circling hungrily for fish. These public employees have an almost psychic ability to sense the moment when a meter expires. When that happens they swoop in and affix a ticket to the windshield quicker than Brad Stark can down a doughnut.

It’s no wonder that the council is also thinking about expanding the enforcement squad and extending the enforcement hours in addition to upping the rates.

I once tried to outsmart our parking system. Years ago I discovered that the wind-up meters would work fine if you fed them Canadian coinage.

(At the time the American/Canadian monetary discount was something like one buck equals 187 loonies.)

So I bought rolls of Canadian quarters at my bank and wandered around town plugging meters. Then the city switched from the glorified egg-timers to digital meters. The new gizmos wouldn’t give me a nanosecond in exchange for a Canadian coin.

Foiled again.

The only puzzling thing about the proposed meter hike is the timing. This is an election year. Candidates are supposed to be out promising us “free pie” and “more sunshine” for all.

Yet though Mayor Dennis Hession is running, he’s endorsing this parking meter reaming.

Politicians may be getting bolder. The aforementioned Councilman Stark, for example, appears to be seeking re-election on a “maintain higher taxes” platform.

This has to do with extending the “levy lid lift” property tax increase that is about to expire.

It’s a bit more complicated than that. But it really just boils down to you and me having to plug more meters.