Doug Clark: Harmonicas and guns could be volatile mix

I‘ve always been pretty right-wing when it comes to the right to bear arms.

But the notion of a survivalist harmonica player speeding down the freeway with enough weapons to invade Canada has me rethinking that whole Second Amendment thing.

I’m fairly confident the Founding Fathers never envisioned John Popper when they discussed that citizen-militia idea.

Popper won his fame as the portly harmonica-blasting frontman for Blues Traveler, a Grammy-winning band that was a radio darling a decade ago.

Popper is back in the limelight after being popped Tuesday afternoon west of Spokane. A state trooper clocked the black Mercedes the musician was riding in at 111 mph.

An ensuing search produced a small amount of marijuana and the following in the vehicle’s hidden compartments:

Four rifles, nine handguns, a switchblade, a Taser and night-vision goggles. In addition, the Mercedes had been equipped with a siren, flashing emergency lights and a public address system.

Popper and the driver were arrested and “administratively booked” into the Adams County Jail in Ritzville, according to a news story. The two men were quickly released on their own recognizance and immediately suspended from the Gonzaga University men’s basketball team.

What I found most fascinating was this paragraph in the Associated Press account:

“Popper indicated to troopers that he had installed the items in his vehicle because (in the event of a natural disaster) he didn’t want to be left behind.”

This guy sounds buggier than a slaughterhouse Dumpster in July.

(SAFETY ALERT – It’s important for musicians to always wear earplugs. Repeated exposure to grinding guitars and stadium loudspeakers has been known to short-circuit the brain.)

I have nothing against Popper. For all I know he is a gun-toting gentleman.

But I have heard him perform live. Popper does not play solos. He unleashes violent machine-gun bursts of notes. The typical Popper solo sounds more like a military assault.

In a follow-up story, Popper’s manager pointed out that his client’s guns are all registered and that the musician likes to visit shooting ranges.

That’s probably all true. But I say anyone with such formidable musical firepower should stay away from actual firepower. It could make for a volatile mix.

Popper’s arrest and arsenal do have the makings of a hard luck blues song. And so I have taken the liberty of adding new lyrics to that shuffling classic, “Kansas City.” One day I will record it. Maybe Popper will race over here and add a few ripping licks.

And now here’s SpoKansas City.

Outside SpoKansas City, SpoKansas City on the run.

Outside SpoKansas City, SpoKansas City on the run.

Oh, I’m doin’ one-eleven in a black Mercedes, fulla guns.

Oh, look at me burnin’ down I-90, like a bat outta hell.

Oh, look at me burnin’ down I-90, like a bat outta hell.

Then along came a copper, he said:

“Hey, now, Johnny Popper, what’s that smell?”

Well, they found a bit a ganja.

Cool goggles for the night.

My rifles, guns and Taser and my shiny switchblade knife.

Outside SpoKansas City, they hauled my ass to jail.

But I got my walking papers. Didn’t have to call for bail.

Well, now let me explain.

How I wound up in this fix.

It’s cuz I haven’t been on top since 1996.

Outside SpoKansas City, it’s sad what I’ve become.

Doin’ one-eleven in a black Mercedes, fulla guns.

Just a paranoid Blues Traveler in a black Mercedes, fulla guns.

Oh, yeeeeeah.