Hollywood promotion is for Twinkies

Hollywood advertising is sometimes as ridiculous as the plot that producers come up with. The latest example?

I’m holding in my hands a press packet sent out to hype the forthcoming film “Disturbia.” The movie, an update of Alfred Hitchcock’s 1954 classic “Rear Window,” involves Shia LeBoeuf as a young guy under house arrest – which means that he is wearing an ankle bracelet that tells the cops if, and when, he ever leaves his yard.

So what’s in the packet? First of all, it’s an actual cardboard box. On the cover you can see the by-now familiar figure of LeBoeuf looking out at us through a pair of field glasses – with co-star Sarah Roemer ’s face shown in the lenses, a dark figure standing threateningly behind her.

Inside? There’s an actual pair of binoculars, though they’re clearly plastic and with just enough magnification for me to be able to make out the words “Steam Plant Square” two and a half blocks away. Then there’s a little red reflector attached to a plastic band that is clearly meant to represent the same kind of anklet that LeBoeuf’s character wears (if you push a button, it flashes).

But since the film is all about this poor kid having to stay at home, it includes refreshments, too. Namely a can of Red Bull and … a Twinkie.

I thank the producers of “Disturbia” for these little gifts. My employers would probably like to have us all wear the same kind of tracking device. But that’s OK. As long as I have the Red Bull, I’m OK for a couple of hours.

I’ll give the Twinkie to anyone who wants it. I prefer Snickers bars.