The Slice: It can keep you on your toes

OK, it’s too late for this year’s Lilac Parade.

But there’s always 2008.

Dakota S. Smith had a question: Are you supposed to stand every time a U.S. flag goes by or is rising for the first flag of the parade enough?

“It’s like doing parade aerobics,” she wrote.

Feel free to weigh in.

But please don’t say, “Hey, I had to stand for the whole nine hours anyway.”

“Reader challenge: Separate the old-time Spokane telephone exchanges from the imposters.

A. Chestnut. B. Crustacean. C. Fairfax. D. Strumpet. E. Hudson. F. Hardscrabble. G. Keystone. H. Butterstick. I. Madison. J. Nimrod. K. Riverside. L. Leg-of-mutton. M. Temple. N. Uvula. O. Walnut. P. Flavonoid. Q. Manimal. R. Gamera. S. Hootenanny.

The answers, if you really need them, are after my contact info.

“Just wondering: Has a member of your family ever tinkered with the settings on the bathroom scale and blown your mind?

“Slice answers: Karen Brady, whose maiden name is Hellstrom, saw the question about the atmosphere at a lake named after your family.

“Hellstrom Lake would be a crystal clear lake with no access for motorized watercraft,” she wrote. “It would be perfect for floating on a big comfy air mattress as you take in God’s beauty surrounding you.”

And in the matter of families taking a geologic amount of time to get in or get out of the car because of little kids and their stuff, one reader suggested a solution: “Never unload the car.”

“Speaking of little kids: I was thinking about those toy submarines that were supposed to dive (or was it surface?) if you packed them with baking powder. And I got to wondering what might be the hottest tub toys in 2007.

If you know, let me hear from you.

“Nobody asked me: But when people tell pollsters and reporters that they intend to alter their driving habits in response to gas prices, I seldom believe it.

Frankly, I have more confidence in the accuracy of surveys on sexual behavior.

“Annoying things you could yell at Lindsey Buckingham when he plays at the Big Easy next month: “Thirty years makes a big difference, doesn’t it, pal?”

“Hey, where’s Stevie?”

“Didn’t you used to be that guy in Fleetwood Mac?”

“Play ‘Kind of a Drag’!”

“Where’s your Messiah now?”

“Don’t stop, thinking about tomorrow!”

“Warm-up question: Do members of your family who like them extra-ripe ever get to have any bananas?

“Today’s Slice question: Does the very idea of a “Memorial Day Sale” give you pause?