The Slice: Don’t rush off to call 911; grab a plate and napkin instead

I can’t pretend to be fluent in the language of smoke signals.

But I can tell you this. Gray puffs rising from a nearby backyard usually mean just one thing: “They’re almost ready.”

Have a good weekend.

“Shirts of summer: The Inland Northwest Blood Center has unveiled its 2007 T-shirt design.

This year’s shirt – “The Call to Arms…” – is the creation of Spokane blood donor Richard LaCom. It was his first time entering the annual contest.

He receives a plaque and, of course, one of the shirts.

They are presented to those donating blood during the summer months, a tradition begun in 1991.

Call (509) 624-0151 to find out about the blood center’s hours of operation and to get directions to the INBC’s sites in Spokane, Coeur d’Alene, Moses Lake and Lewiston.

“Be sure to stretch out: A search of the newspaper’s electronic archives (which go back to 1994) reveals that entering “Artfest” and “groin injury” as paired search terms produces zero hits.

But entering “Hoopfest” and “groin injury” yields two hits.

As it happens, I wrote both of those stories. So I’m not really sure what this proves.

By itself, “groin injury” shows up 529 times, but only twice in conjunction with “John Blanchette.”

Of course, searching for the trifecta of “The Slice” and “drunk” and “wedding” calls up six columns.

Let’s move on.

“Slice answers: Readers said that, in stark contrast to the way 1957 cars are revered in certain circles today, nobody will talk about 2007 automobiles 50 years from now.

“If man is still alive,” said one caller, perhaps quoting that annoying Zager and Evans 1969 chart-topper, “In the Year 2525.”

“Reader challenge: Which of the following have never been slogans used by Spokane TV news shows?

A. “Never miss a story.” B. “All nude.” C. “Right Now.” D. “Got our empathy faces on!” E.”Your local news leader.” F. “I got your banter right here.” G. “Keepin’ it real.” H. “Emoting on cue.” I. “No news is good news.” J. “Let’s be friends.” K. “We’re not the newspaper.”

That’s correct.

“Warm-up questions: What person in your family has the hardest time keeping track of what day of the week it is? Who around here has met the most guys who had their pictures on baseball cards? How often do you refresh the lineup of stuff posted on your refrigerator?

“Today’s Slice question: What’s the earliest someone should mow a lawn on the weekend?

(Perhaps I should specify that I’m talking about power lawn mowers here. But I once had a clanking reel-style mower that made a phenomenal amount of noise. So let’s not limit this.)