The Slice: Make offer before it’s too late

Stay classy, Spokane.

A friend saw a local online ad for a coffin under the heading “furniture for sale.” It proudly noted that the denim material employed as a covering had never been used before.

Let’s move on.

“Rose rage: “Your column about road rage last week brought back memories of an experience I had several years ago as I was driving in a small town in southeastern Washington,” wrote Mary Cutler of Nine Mile Falls.

“I turned left onto a wide tree-lined street with only one other car in sight about three-quarters of the way down the block. A couple of blocks later, I turned left again onto another side street and became aware of a car following me. It kept driving up close behind me as I made several more turns, so I pulled over to the curb and stopped.

“The car pulled up behind me, and the driver got out carrying a bouquet of roses in a large vase half full of water. She stomped up to my window and chewed me out thoroughly because I had pulled right in front of her and spilled the water in her vase all over her books, purse, checkbook and personal belongings.

“I was flabbergasted, but did manage a weak, ‘I’m sorry.’

“When she ran out of steam, she pulled the prettiest rose from the bouquet, and said, ‘Here, I’ll give you a rose. Have a good morning, and next time be more alert!’

“Then she stomped back to her car.”

“Obscure movies you would recommend as rentals: “The Dish.” — Dan Fears

“Equilibrium.” — Sam Capriatti

“Megaforce.” — Julie Roberts

“Rancho Deluxe.” — Bruce Werner

“Living Out Loud.” — Betsy Lawrence

“Last of the Mississippi Jukes.” — Bill Shugg

“The Last of Sheila.” — Tim Osborn

“Alexandra’s Project.” — Steve Van Valkinburgh

“Then there was this: “The most obscure and important movie you could ever rent would be MGM’s ‘Valley of the Kings’ filmed in Cairo, Egypt, in 1954,” wrote Claudine Pearson Luppi of Spokane. “That’s because I am in it. I am an extra who sits side-saddle on a camel, in the background, in an 1890s dress and hat with a large plume.”

“Seasonal pie chart: Here is how Slice reader Anne Trefry breaks down Spokane’s climate.

Winter: 37.5 percent.

Spring: 20.833 percent.

Summer: 25 percent.

Fall: 16.667 percent.

“Today’s Slice question: How do people react when they see you really dressed up for the first time?