TUBOB: Nothing Good About Getting Old

Aging denies me my youthful exuberance and carefree joie de vivre instead burdening me with the overbearing knowledge of what a brutal and hellish craphole this world has become. Seriously. We’re being gouged by Big Oil our petrolust and petroejaculations have created a warming earth steaming with carbon dioxide like the vile breath of a murderous thug about to pop a cap in you before he steals your car and beats your pomeranian to death for yapping at him after he dumps you in some godforsaken landfill in the swamps of New Jersey, but I digress,