The Slice: Uranus, ranked near bottom, keeps head up

It’s time again for The Slice’s Earth Day ranking of the planets.

1. Earth. Still the best place to find decent Mexican food. 2. Saturn. When you’re this cool, you don’t have to say a word. 3. Mars. Looks good in red. 4. Jupiter. Big planets don’t yap-yap-yap all the time. 5. Pluto. Poised for a comeback. 6. Venus. This planet’s pledge drives seem to go on forever. 7. Neptune. Weak nonconference schedule. 8. Uranus. I’m trying to distance this one from the headline writer. 9. Mercury. Little hothead, made angry by small planet syndrome.

“More fine monikers: A Slice reader who noticed a baby named Impatience in the births listings recently had a few ideas for naming the kid’s future siblings: Belligerence, Intemperance, Incoherence, Obstinance, Intolerance, Arrogance, Indolence, Irrelevance and Protuberance.

“Which of the following were not the names of Spokane hockey teams: A) Flyers. B) Comets. C) Jets. D) Naysayers. E) Canaries. F) Bombers. G) Yard Salers. H) Clippers.

Yes, that’s correct. D and G are the fakes.

“Life in Spokane: So the dry cleaners sent me home with the wrong stuff Saturday. When I took it all out of the bag and was about to hang it up, I noticed the name on the attached charge slip, Todd Woodard.

I’ve known Todd almost 20 years. But I hadn’t really noticed before that he has some nice shirts.

“Family phrases: Carie Saunders’ husband, a volunteer firefighter, was discussing a certain kind of plants with their daughter. He meant to say “drought tolerant.” But what he actually came out with was “water retardant.”

“Slice answer: I heard from a former Marine who said organizations that allow someone’s tardiness to become chronic have only themselves to blame.

“The case for wearing neckties with short-sleeve shirts: At Ryan McElvain’s workplace, a dress code requires that men wear ties. But it’s an old building and it can get hot inside.

Female employees can deal with this by wearing, say, capri pants and a silk blouse. The guys? You guessed it.

“Bag lady: Pam Gallaher recently noticed that one of her cloth grocery bags dates back to Earth Day 1991. She wonders if anyone else still uses shopping bags of a similar vintage.

“Speaking of shopping: Donald Schaefer recalled a compassionate salesperson about 50 years ago who quietly informed him that jock-strap sizes referred to the waistband measurement.

“Today’s Slice question: About what subject are you an oversharer?