The Slice: A happy camp needs more pros than cons

As residents of the Inland Northwest, it is our solemn duty to analyze the issues that define us.

So today The Slice examines the appeal of camping.

But you can relax. I’ve already done the heavy lifting. All you have to do is agree or disagree. Or both.

Pro: You can really get in touch with nature.

Con: Bugs.

Pro: There’s something special about the quiet you experience deep in the woods.

Con: “What was that sound? Who’s out there? I can hear you. You aren’t fooling me! I know someone’s there.”

Pro: The scent of the forest.

Con: Sleeping bags that smell like a chile relleno incident.

Pro: Getting in touch with your pioneer roots.

Con: Getting in touch with the fact that you really need a shower.

Pro: You might bump into Rich Landers.

Con: You might bump into Rich Landers.

Pro: Cell phones probably won’t work.

Con: People won’t stop talking about whether their cell phones work.

Pro: A tent can be all cozy and Snugsville.

Con: A tent can feel like an 8-hour MRI.

Pro: There’s something about sleeping outdoors that makes you feel alive.

Con: There’s something about sleeping outdoors that makes you feel like you are freezing your butt off.

Pro: Telling stories around a campfire.

Con: No one in your family actually knows how to tell a story. Yours is more of a text-messaging crowd.

Pro: There’s nothing like eating outdoors.

Con: Bears and cougars agree.

Pro: “Roughing it” is good for the soul.

Con: Restroom facilities that make prolonged constipation seem like the way to go, so to speak.

Pro: S’mores, songs.

Con: Ticks, snakes.

Pro: When you get away from town, you can see the stars better.

Con: Try not to think about burglars who know they can take their time.

Pro: The people you encounter while camping tend to share your values.

Con: The rustic folks at the next camp site make you think of the movie “Deliverance.”

Pro: When you get back to work on Monday, you’ll have an answer when someone asks about your weekend.

Con: Thanks to the poison ivy rash on your hands and the mosquito-bite welts on your forehead, you won’t have to say a word.

OK, your turn.

•Today’s Slice question: Are people who loathe loud personal watercraft capable of being friends with someone who owns one?