Sexiness is like comedy: It’s personal

Like many movie fans, I picked up the Nov. 28 copy of Entertainment Weekly with particular interest. How can you ignore something titled “The Sexiest 50 Movies Ever”?

Then I took a look at the films that they featured on the cover.

“Little Children” is a story about infidelity and child molestation.

“The Notebook” is an overwrought melodrama.

“How Stella Got Her Groove Back” is about women’s empowerment.

“Mr. and Mrs. Smith” is about guns and stuff.

This is sexy stuff? I know that the article itself includes a few movies that I would classify as sexy: “The Fabulous Baker Boys” (featuring Michelle Pfeiffer slithering across a piano) and “Swimming Pool” (featuring Ludivine Sagnier lounging poolside).

But the cover references don’t work. And besides, where is the reference to one of the sexiest scenes ever filmed (especially considering the actress in question never takes her clothes off)?

I’m talking about the scene in “Children of a Lesser God” in which Marlee Matlin, dancing sensuously to music she can’t hear (but can feel!), attracts the attention of William Hurt.

Now damn, that’s sexy.