The Slice: It’s official when they say it’s official

Do you hear what I hear?

Maybe it’s all in my imagination. But I could swear two different radio outfits are claiming to be Spokane’s official Christmas station.

Hmmm. So where do you go to seek authorization to declare such a designation? The Christmas Co.? The North Pole? Holidays Corp.?

This might shock you. But I have a hunch that this is the sort of thing promotions people simply make up.

And by the way, did I tell you that The Slice is Spokane’s official Christmas newspaper column?

Let’s move on.

•You better not cry: Earlier this month, Whitworth University music professor Dan Keberle’s 18-month-old son, Landen, sat on Santa’s lap at a shop on the South Hill.

It didn’t go well. Not at first anyway.

As you can see in the snapshot, Landen’s No. 1 Christmas wish was to be released from Santa’s clutches.

But then things took a turn.

“After Santa gave him a candy cane he felt much better,” said Keberle.

And Carol LeDuc shared an image of the Christmas card her daughter sent out this year. It features a photo of LeDuc’s young grandson, Max, reacting to the jolly old elf as if Santa were a knife-wielding madman.

Let’s hope there were some candy canes at the ready.

•Speaking of Santa: Alyson Paredes was talking with her young son, Patrick. It was noted that the lad never wanted to sit on Santa’s lap.

So Patrick explained his policy: “It would be pretty cool to talk to the real one, but all those clones really freak me out.”

•It’s just not a good look: If you stand out in the snow and you are not wearing a hat, your hair is going to be all wet and drippy when you come back inside.

Happens every time.

•Doesn’t mean it’s good for you: A reader who is skeptical about marketing language noted that radon is “all natural.”

•In case it comes up: The “Mr. Plow” episode of “The Simpsons” first aired in 1992.

•You can tell someone hasn’t attended many Christmas Eve church services: If he or she asks if there is a secret handshake.

•Warm-up questions: What percentage of sledders use actual sleds? How many different words do Inland Northwesterners have for snow? Do you think about tires more than you think about sex?

•Today’s Slice question: What were the best/worst aspects of the snowstorm coverage provided by Spokane TV news?