How do you shut up up movie talkers?

Not that I condone violence for any reason beyond self defense, but who hasn’t at one time or another dreamed up doing something unmentionable to those who talk at movies?

My wife just e-mailed me this story about a man who did something stupid to some talkers at a Philadelphia movie house. Make sure to check out the comments.

It’s fitting that it was my wife who discovered the story. She and I attended yesterday’s 4:40 p.m. crowded screening of “Valkyrie” at the River Park Square Theatres and had to endure a movie-long narration by a couple sitting a few rows behind us.

I wasn’t armed, and I wouldn’t have dared to do anything remotely as radical as shooting them. But I was tempted to stand up more than once to tell them to shut the hell up.

Instead, I ended up just laughing at the whole affair. I’m curious, though: What do people think is the right way to shut people up who talk in movies?