The Slice: Could be the sail of the century

I’m going sailing with a friend in July.

And I’ve been thinking about what movies I ought to watch to get in the mood.

Here’s what I’ve come up with so far.

“Master & Commander: The Far Side of the World”: Actually, I’ll be going to the far side of North Idaho. I’m pretty sure we won’t be firing cannons. But you never know. If we encounter a French frigate, we might have to engage it.

“Mutiny on the Bounty”: My friend is an awfully nice guy, so I don’t think there are any applicable lessons here. Still, I’ll try to resist finishing off the strawberries. Oh, wait, that’s from “The Caine Mutiny.” Never mind.

“Jaws”: What? You think I could resist saying, “We’re going to need a bigger boat.” Still, I haven’t heard about too many giant sharks in Lake Pend Oreille. I suppose we could try sticking a couple of barrels on a pike, though.

“Ben-Hur”: “Ramming speed!” Hoping to not hear, “We keep you alive to serve this ship.”

“Titanic”: OK, it was a long winter. But I still don’t expect to hit an iceberg.

“Moby Dick”: I am almost positive that my friend’s boat is not a whaler. But as a former New Englander, I suppose I could entertain my companions by behaving in an obsessed manner. Maybe about lunch. “To the last, I grapple with thee.”

“Water World”: Remind me to consult a map if we lose sight of land.

“The Poseidon Adventure”: The only thing I can think of worse than capsizing might be having to listen to someone sing “The Morning After” again.

“The African Queen”: I will regard the outing as less than a success if I wind up covered with leeches.

“Das Boot”: If a German U-boat tracks you down on Lake Pend Oreille, you’ve just got to figure that it’s not your day.

“The Perfect Storm”: It’s not totally bad news if you get to quote the Cowardly Lion: “Unusual weather we’re having, ain’t it?”

“Captain Blood”: In your entire life, have you ever been called “swashbuckling”? Me neither. But I suppose there is a first time for everything.

“Madagascar”: I’m pretty certain penguins will not be steering the boat.

“Captain Horatio Hornblower”: I’ll ask in advance about the rum rations.

“Peter Pan”: My friend’s vessel looks like a pirate ship. Honest, it does. But I’m not sure how he would feel about being addressed as “Captain Hook.”

“Swiss Family Robinson”: I’m assuming we won’t wind up shipwrecked, but I have to say that 1960 movie was one of my favorites as a kid.

“Today’s Slice question: What’s the surest way to tell if a person shopping at a fresh-produce stand really knows anything about selecting fruits and vegetables?