The Slice: Our suggestions tend to ruffle feathers

In one respect, this can be the most frustrating time of year.

I mean, you can tell birds over and over, “Don’t build your nest there – it’s not safe.”

But do they listen? Not a chance.

Maybe they can sense when someone is not an architect or lacks an engineering degree.

Or perhaps these birdbrains simply refuse to take advice from anyone who doesn’t have feathers.

“Decision 2008: I heard from a friend who usually does Bloomsday under an assumed name. In the past, he has gone with monikers borrowed from characters Elvis played in movies. I think my friend was Lucky Jackson one year.

Anyway, he informed me that he has made his selection for 2008.

“Steve McGarrett,” he said.

Sounds good. “Hawaii Five-0” isn’t on everyone’s radar. But I’m sure some people will be amused.

Maybe he can get some of his pals to go along.

Just think. He could do Bloomsday in the company of Chin Ho, Dano, Che, Kono, Ben and Wo Fat.

“Maybe it’s just me: I alluded to this in passing a few years ago. But “Pirates” has never struck me as a good fit for Whitworth University. It seems like they ought to call their sports teams something more in keeping with the vibe of the institution.

How about Christian Soldiers?

On second thought, what do I really know about pirates? Maybe some of them were devout and community minded.

And if Whitworth adopted a new nickname, it would deprive opponents’ fans of the chance to mockingly yell “Arrrrrrrrrr!”

So never mind.

“Speaking of sports: A lot of readers seem to like that the S-R prints those full-page cheer cards. You know, the ones that say “Go Cougs,” “Go Zags” and so on.

But what if these exhortations were not restricted to athletics? What if the newspaper printed similar signs in support of other causes?

What would you like to see?

“Go Earth Day!”

“Demand Accountability from Elected Leaders!”

“Drive Slower, You Idiot!”

OK, your turn.

“Prompted by something in last Saturday’s Slice: Quite a few years ago, Linda Peterson’s kids were watching a Seahawks game being televised from Pittsburgh’s Three Rivers Stadium. The children wound up making a contest out of naming the rivers in question. The answers tended to be “The Ohio, the Allegheny and that M one.”

“So when we got a cat, the kids decided to name him Monongahela, so they would be able to remember the name of the M one.”

I assume the pet was usually addressed as Monny.

“Today’s Slice question: Who holds the record for pointing out the garbage-inhaling goat at Riverfront Park to the most visitors from out of town?