The Slice: Zen and the art of proper baby names

Prospective parents, let this be a lesson to you.

Apparently names aren’t destiny.

In the criminal sentencings section of the S-R’s public records last week, there was an entry about a 24-year-old guy’s jail time for second-degree taking a motor vehicle without permission.

The young man’s first name was Zen.

Now I know nothing about the case. Perhaps he was wrongly accused. Maybe it was all a big misunderstanding.

But assuming there was something more troubling that led to his guilty plea, it does make you wonder.

Did Zen let go of self-conscious and judgmental thinking before he took that car?

Did he believe that what he was doing was the way to attain an awakening?

Or did he just think, “I’ve been messed up since the day my parents saddled me with this ridiculous name — one more bad decision won’t matter”?

“I’ll admit that this is hideous stereotyping: But I’ve had an actual Russian immigrant tell me that, as a group, her countrymen don’t tend to laugh a lot.

So, anyway. I was having a routine set of dental X-rays done. The young woman taking care of this procedure was named something like Elena. She was professional yet a teeny bit dour.

No problem. That’s better than chirpy.

At some point, as Elena was positioning a film card in my mouth, I managed to bite down and trap her by the tip of her rubber glove. When she tried to withdraw her hand, we both realized what had happened. And she laughed.

It wasn’t a big guffaw. It was more subtle.

But it was something to behold.

“Sticking with today’s theme of young adults in action: Bertie Hibbard got a flat tire the other day. The 80-year-old Post Falls resident was by herself. So she got out and started walking in the direction of a place that had a pay phone.

A young woman saw her and intervened. She let Bertie use her cell phone to contact her family. Then the young woman called her own husband.

After perusing the owner’s manual in Bertie’s car, the young woman got out the spare tire and all the tools her husband would need. So when the young man got there, it took him no time to change the wheel.

“This younger generation will be OK if there are more like them,” wrote Bertie.

“Today’s Slice question: What is your theory about why the STA measure passed?

(Feel free to offer both a cynical analysis and a more optimistic explanation.)