The Slice: TV watching should not be a contact sport

Let’s start today with a few tips on tossing a TV remote across the room.

1. When possible, a gentle underhand pitch is best as this imparts less speed and produces an easily tracked arc of flight.

2. If your receiver is on a couch or sofa, aim the remote off to the side a bit. That way, you can toss it with some authority but not risk hitting the person in the face or groin.

If the receiver is in a chair, try to lob it so that he or she can trap the remote against the upper body.

3. If the room is dark, consider taking the heroic step of actually getting up and walking the remote over to the other person.

4. If there are hardwood floors in the room, avoid long-distance throws that might go awry. If the room is carpeted and your receiver has good hands, go ahead and launch the long bomb.

5. If you have a dog that might try to intercept the remote in midair, be sure to “look off” the canine by pretending to toss the unit in another direction before making your real throw.

6. Do not toss a remote if your intended receiver is surrounded by plates, glasses and open beverage containers or is a mother nursing a child.

•Holiday traditions: About 20 years ago, Susan Rae’s brother-in-law, Jim, made some crack about the generous serving of mashed potatoes she had given herself.

Everyone laughed, including Rae.

That observation took on a life of its own. Now it wouldn’t be Thanksgiving for her family without a repeat performance.

“This has become such a yearly announcement followed by fits of laughter that I have started announcing it myself before anyone else can,” said Rae. “As in, ‘Here I go … I’m headin’ for the spuds … look out everybody!’ ”

But this Thanksgiving won’t be exactly like the others for her extended family. Rae’s beloved brother-in-law died in January.

“This will be our first Thanksgiving without him,” she said. “I’m sure he will be watching from heaven and still laughing.”

•Speaking of Thanksgiving: Do you feel this vehicle is safe for highway travel?

•Annual invitation: If any grade school teachers want to have their students write out instructions for preparing a Thanksgiving turkey dinner and then share those always-illuminating reports with The Slice, I will receive them with gratitude.

I’ve enjoyed all the kids’ recipes and culinary tips over the years. But I think my two favorite cooking instructions were offered back in the mid-’90s.

“Get all the blood off it,” said one young chef.

“Cook it on 14,” wrote another.

•Today’s Slice question: Besides babying prized T-shirts while doing laundry and nagging certain drivers about remembering to check the gas gauge now and then, how do people show love in your family?