Nick: Earth Day? Change Oil In Street

Nick Adams: Earth Day! I have big plans. First, I’m going to fire up the ol’ lawnmower and mow my yard twice. Then, the gas-powered weed-eater and edge every yard in my neighborhood. Next, I’ll get my 1976 Ford pick-up going and tow the boat up to the lake whilst throwing all the cans, paper and cardboard I’d normally recycle out the window. I’ll drive the boat back and forth across the lake until I’ve just about hit empty. Back to town, where I’ll change the oil in the truck and boat and dump the old oil right into the street drain. Wash them both in the street with as much phosphorate-laden detergent I can find. Full post below .

Question: Nick, of course, is being facetious. How do you plan to celebrate Earth Day today?

First, I’m going to fire up the ol’ lawnmower and mow my yard twice. Then, the gas-powered weed-eater and edge every yard in my neighborhood. Next, I’ll get my 1976 Ford pick-up going and tow the boat up to the lake whilst throwing all the cans, paper and cardboard I’d normally recycle out the window. I’ll drive the boat back and forth across the lake until I’ve just about hit empty. Back to town, where I’ll change the oil in the truck and boat and dump the old oil right into the street drain. Wash them both in the street with as much phosphorate-laden detergent I can find. At that point, if I’m not too pooped. I’ll mow the lawn again and then turn the sprinklers on. Every light will be lit in the homestead, as well as TV, stereo, dishwasher, washer/dryer and AC. Maybe even the turn the heat up to about 90 to counteract the AC. Hot shower and a shave. Off to bed with earplugs and a blindfold so the lights and stereo don’t bother me.

If I only had a chainsaw and a burn barrel, it’d be a perfect day.

I call it the “Al Gore & Sierra Club Employment Day” or “a day in the life of a your average Athol resident”. But, Earth Day works, too.