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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: Two-bit ideas always seem to be confusing

Here are five things STA drivers can say when boarding passengers indicate that they didn’t know the fare was going up 25 cents with the start of the new year.

1. “We didn’t keep it a secret.”

2. “It’s part of a big conspiracy.”

3. “You’re always the last one to know.”

4. “You should read the newspaper.”

5. “It was Ralph Kramden’s idea.”

Ten percent off for having been on the honor roll in 1946: Ann Ingebo was in a grocery checkout line. The shopper ahead of her was an elderly lady, she said.

Ingebo heard the cashier ask that woman for her report card.

Huh?

This was puzzling for several reasons. Was the old woman going to say the dog ate it?

But after a moment, Ingebo realized the cashier had said “rewards card.”

Today’s family phrases: Years ago, someone who meant to say “absconded” described a person as having “succumbed with the funds.”

And ever since, people in Janet White’s family have enjoyed characterizing those who hastily departed or snuck off with something as having succumbed.

She has mentioned this family word-game to others over the years, but has discovered that a lot of people aren’t familiar with either word.

One more. Fred Smith’s Uncle Harold used to say “The K-market” instead of “Kmart.”

“It was his favorite place to shop, so it came up often in his conversations,” said Smith.

Uncle Harold is gone now. But his store-naming syntax lives on. Members of his extended family refer to a certain national discount chain as “The Wal-Market.”

Slice answers: Reactions to KISC-FM’s wall-to-wall Christmas music were sharply (and pretty evenly) divided.

Today’s Slice question: Does staying up past midnight Eastern time count as seeing in the new year?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098; e-mail pault@spokesman.com. I am declaring today to be Catherine Goss Day in Spokane.

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