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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: You do still believe in the Groundhog, right?

What is your family’s Groundhog Day Eve tradition?

Do you exchange predictions about spring tonight or will you wait until Groundhog Day morning?

Let’s move on.

•Things we expect to find when the snow is gone: “A small herd of plastic dinosaurs that live in our backyard,” wrote Judy Lungren. “The last time I saw them (which was before the first snow fell) they were in a long line marching toward the back fence. I think they heard the weather report and started heading south.”

Another reader’s son looks forward to recovering his probably-ruined cell phone. It got swallowed by the snowblower and was launched into low Earth orbit, coming down somewhere in the neighbor’s yard.

•In the matter of TVs and waiting rooms: “What ever happened to people being able to sit and be still with their own thoughts for a few minutes?” asked a South Hill woman in her 50s. “Or look at a magazine or something?

“I’ve been in numerous waiting rooms lately and there is always a TV that is way too loud. Even in a room where people waited for loved ones coming out of surgery. Surely, everyone would have preferred for it to be off. Listening to screaming commercials at such a time is just too much to ask of anyone.

“If institutions want to have these for people to stare at, that’s fine. But for the love of God, please disable the sound.

“P.S. This goes for the one dope in every waiting room that’s yelling on a cell phone, too. Please knock it off or go outside, Or, HELLO, wake up and realize one can speak very quietly into a phone.”

•Social Flubs Department: Carolyn Bonvallet was speaking to an American Heart Association gathering when she thanked the audience of about 200 people for helping in the “fight against heart disease.”

Well, that’s what she meant to say.

What she actually thanked her listeners for was helping in the “fart against height disease.”

Which is a different issue.

•Today’s Slice question: What’s your theory about why so many cops move to this area upon retirement?

A) Affordable boondocks properties. B) Same reasons other people move here. C) Access to outdoor recreation. D) They are fleeing population centers with more diverse demographics. E) They want to live somewhere where their social/political leanings will be mainstream, but they don’t want to move to Alaska, Utah or the South. F) They heard this is a great place to be a grandparent. G) Other.

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098; email Wonder how many people decided last week to finally read something by John Updike.

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