The Slice: Road hog peddles too much arrogance

Today The Slice presents a transcript of my interview with The Cyclist Who Gives All Other Bike Riders in Spokane a Bad Name.

You wouldn’t believe what he had to say.

Q: So what’s with the blowing through red lights and darting from lane to lane, forcing drivers to brake to avoid hitting you?

A: Share the road, baby.

Q: I don’t think that’s what the expression really means. But are you aware that a few good people have worked long and hard to see cycling gain a measure of begrudging acceptance in Spokane?

A: I’m not sure I like your tone. My bike cost 10 times what yours did.

Q: OK. Well, do you recognize that erratic, selfish riding is terrible public relations for the cycling community?

A: Cars are to blame for everything. People who drive cars are fat, lazy polluters who wear cheap sunglasses and drink mainstream beer.

Q: So no one in your family ever drives a car?

A: We have three of the most fuel-efficient SUVs on the road.

Q: Isn’t snobbery and elitism sort of counter to the populist spirit of cycling? You know, like in Europe?

A: Actually, now that I think of it, even my accessories cost more than your bike did.

Q: You don’t get it, do you? You don’t understand how Spokane drivers are going to remember the astonishingly arrogant thing you did and completely forget about the 50 courteous bike riders they saw that day?

A: Peasants.

Q: Shouldn’t someone as special as yourself be living in Seattle or Portland?

A: Are you kidding? The traffic over there is insane.

Today’s Slice question: Does anyone in your family send or read text messages while driving?