The Slice: Does a burger on the barbie help create a bun in the oven?

Do Spokane-area women find the scent of charcoal smoke on a man to be arousing?

Welcome to The Slice’s latest and perhaps boldest social research project. I have a theory about why so many babies are born around here in February and March. But I need more data before presenting my findings. And I would like your help.

Please go to the appropriate gender heading and answer the questions. Then submit your responses by mail or e-mail.

Make sure to identify yourself by name, age and daytime phone number. If, however, you would prefer to remain anonymous in my final report, please indicate that.

WOMEN

1. Have you ever given birth in February or March?

2. If so, can you recall if nine months prior to that you experienced what is known as a close encounter of the barbecue kind?

3. Have you ever uttered the expression, “Hey, I’ve got your briquettes”?

4. How do you react to the scent of charcoal smoke on a man’s hair or clothes?

5. Have female friends who own gas grills ever spoken to you of an unfulfilled longing in their lives?

6. Do you think a “Spokane” brand men’s cologne simulating the aroma of grill smoke would have commercial potential?

7. Is the man in your life aware of the aphrodisiac effect of cooking out?

8. Do you suspect that’s why he has become a 12-month griller?

9. Has “Why don’t we cook out tonight” become a sort of code?

10. Do your female friends and relatives in other parts of the country ever speak of smoke scent in terms of its turn-on dynamic?

MEN

1. Do women tend to find you more charming when you give off an aroma of charcoal smoke?

2. After grilling, have you ever been told by your wife/significant other, “Nah, you don’t need a shower”?

3. Do you believe cookout smoke makes you seem like a better provider?

4. How do you react to the smell of charcoal smoke in women’s hair?

5. Would you regard it as a compliment to be told that you “smell like steak”?

6. Do you own a “Kiss the Chef” apron?

7. Has “I think something’s burning?” become code?

8. Have you ever discussed Smoke Syndrome Sex with others?

9. Are you too mature for “bun” jokes?

10. Has “Well done” become code?

•Today’s Slice question: What would you have to do to get your picture in Spokane Metro magazine?