The Slice: Let me know as soon as a vaccine for idiocy is available

There are people who think I am an idiot.

Sometimes I invite this opinion all by myself. Other times, I get help.

I’ll start at the beginning.

Because of my asthma, I qualify to receive a swine flu vaccination. But I wasn’t taking steps to make this happen. So my wife thought to contact my allergist’s office and inquire about the availability of the shots there.

She was told no doses were on hand but that a batch was expected and I could be put on a call-back list. A few days later, someone named Nancy phoned our home from the allergist’s office and left a message saying I could now schedule a shot. My wife relayed this to me while I was at work.

I looked up my allergist’s number and called. After listening to a recording that all but says “Go away, please,” I managed to leave a message. But the phonemail system had warned that no one would listen to it until the next business day.

That didn’t seem satisfactory. So I asked my wife if she had another number for this Nancy person. She did.

I called Nancy and set up a time to go in for my shot that same afternoon.

Not so fast.

When I arrived at my allergist’s, I was told that they had no appointment, no vaccine and no Nancy. The young woman I dealt with was nice about it, though. She must have encountered confusion before.

Apparently my wife had contacted the wrong allergy clinic at the outset. And the Nancy there had initially assumed I was their patient.

But while I was at my real allergist’s office, I signed up for an H1N1 shot later in the week. And by the time you read this, I will have been inoculated.

The moral of this story? That’s easy.

Wash your hands.

Today’s Slice question: Does it bug you when TV characters make plans to meet but fail to specify a time or exchange other information that might be required to make the rendezvous happen?