Turkey ‘Courage’ Wins Obama Pardon

President Obama, center, with daughters Malia, far right, Sasha, second from the right, pardoning the National Thanksgiving Turkey, Courage, in a ceremony in the North Portico of the White House, in Washington, Wednesday. With Obama is the Chairman of the National Turkey Federation, Walter Pelletier. Woman on left is unidentified. (AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)

Joker: The National Thanksgiving Turkey, Courage, died shortly after being pardoned by President Obama. The president was so busy giving a stirring speech about the audacity of cranberry sauce that the turkey’s handlers failed to notice that Courage wandered away and was crushed by a service van delivering the actual dozen white house turkeys that will be served tomorrow.