The Slice: Criminal conduct? Play the name blame game

A friend has made an important discovery.

Those yearning to once again enjoy insane first names have a place to turn, now that the newspaper’s births listings have shriveled.

“You come across some great names in the official records,” she said.

You know. That small type under “Washington Records” and “Idaho Records” listing court actions, bankruptcy petitions, divorces and what have you. Often this runs in the A section.

Turns out these public notices are a trove of ridiculous names.

Recently there was a “Code.” I guess that is supposed to be pronounced “Cody.”

I don’t know why I didn’t think of this. The Slice has been around for 18 years, and I have been railing about misbegotten baby names pretty much all that time.

Well, now some of those badly bemonikered kids have grown up and gotten into trouble.

Sorry about their misfortune. But maybe that’s another thing they can blame on their parents.

Speaking of small type: You don’t have to care about the Shock to think it’s kind of cool that “Spokane” shows up in the AFL standings printed in newspapers in arena football cities such as Chicago, Milwaukee and Cleveland.

Follow-up: The Slice has already taken some heat from breakfast readers who found the whole thing disgusting. But when the subject line on an e-mail rebuttal says “Snot Rockets,” well, who could resist?

Chris Shogan made the case that it is simply not practical for runners and bikers to always use tissues when clearing nasal passages while exercising.

“I know it’s a tad gross,” he wrote. “But I really don’t see any other solution.”

OK. Fire when ready.

Slice poll (from Thursday): Apparently most little kids regard monsters in the closet as scarier than monsters under the bed.

Today’s Slice question: What percentage of Inland Northwesterners can hear trains from their homes?