Bloggy Has Questions For DFO

As many of you know, I was a guest on Kerri Thoreson’s Monday Morning Main Street show a half hour ago. Mr. Bloggy had some questions for Kerri to ask “the Oliverianator”:

1. If you had beaten Chuck Norris into a bloody pulp and all of a sudden a whole platoon of REAL Texas Rangers (not the ballplayers) showed up, armed and pissed off, would you:

a) yell loudly HE STARTED IT
b) finish Norris off w a “Spinning Snow Monkey Orchid Slicer” kick
c) mention off-handedly “this is what happens when I’m not listened to on HBO”
d) CHUCK Norris? oh damn, I thought he said his name was “Dump TRUCK Norris” the notorious serial killer who dumps his victim’s bodies in asphalt manufacturing plants.
e) he called Sgt Christie Wood a “lil banana bran cupcake muffin” and that’s enough of that!
f) all of the above and run like hell (Duane Hagadone “question” below)

Question: Did any of you hear the show? What did you think?

2. Duane Hagadone corners you at a cocktail party and demands you drop to your knees and supplicate yourself by both washing his feet in the blood of an albino lamb while humming “Jingle bell Rock” (Duane’s very favorite X-mas song) do you:

a) tell him you just laced his martini with a slow acting poison and the only antidote is red geranium petals and oh darn, it’s December. Bummer.
b) kick him in his presses and go home
c) distract him with your awesome impersonation of Mike Kennedy rapidly chowing on a bear claw pastry while wildly pressing on a Blu-Ray DVD remote control trying to find the special scene in LOTR where Samwise accidentally brushes his hobbit hand against Gollum’s genitals.
d) oh screw it - resistance is futile, “is the lamb’s blood to your liking, King Hagadone?”