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The Slice: When in doubt, ‘say hello to my little friend’

Most people in Spokane don’t need to be told how to treat visitors from out of town.

Being friendly and helpful comes naturally.

But there are always a few folks who could stand to brush up on their hospitality skills.

So today, The Slice presents a quick pop quiz using lines from movies to test your tourism-enhancing instincts.

1. If someone here for the skating events stops you and asks for directions, what would you say?

A. “Say hello to my little friend.” (“Scarface”) B. “You talkin’ to me?” (“Taxi Driver”) C. “You go down there.” (“Little Big Man”) D. “I’d turn back if I were you.” (“The Wizard of Oz”) E. “I’m sure that the way to say what I’d like to say will occur to me after you’ve gone.” (“Going My Way”)

2. When a visitor expresses surprise that Spokane isn’t some backwoods Hooterville, how should you react?

A. “Oh boy, is this great!” (“Animal House”) B. “I amuse you?” (“Goodfellas”) C. “You take drugs, Danny?” (“Caddyshack”) D. “This is just a dirty little village in the middle of nowhere.” (“High Noon”) E. “Hey, you don’t miss a trick.” (“Paint Your Wagon”)

3. If someone mispronounces “Spokane,” what would you say?

A. “I’m not going to take it anymore!” (“Network”) B. “They’re heeeere.” (“Poltergeist”) C. “What we have here is a failure to communicate.” (“Cool Hand Luke”) D. “OK, Dude. Have it your way.” (“The Big Lebowski”) E. “What did you say? Wait, what did you say?” (“American Graffiti”)

Yes, your answers were correct.

Mascot update: Evidence has surfaced suggesting that the late Berneal Gilbreth is the person who, long ago, came up with the idea of calling the Medical Lake High School teams the Cardinals.

Today’s Slice question: On what Inland Northwest lakes have you skated?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098; e-mail Because Haiti and Eastern Washington have the same area code, some local people have been receiving more wrong-number calls than usual.

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