The Slice: Put down your crayons, it’s time to chug a cold one

Thirty years ago, Coeur d’Alene’s Lois Young was a kindergarten teacher in Michigan.

A highlight of each day was snack time, when the kids were allowed to enjoy a treat brought from home.

Well, one day Young noticed that a certain little boy wasn’t having a cookie or a carton of chocolate milk. No, he was struggling to open a bottle of beer.

Hey, after a rough day of finger-painting, naps and fending off girls with cooties … it’s Miller time!

Except that Young distinctly remembers it was a bottle of Budweiser.

The lad said he had gotten it from a garage refrigerator at home. And his mother later disavowed any knowledge of her son’s decision to select a market-leading lager as his snack.

The little boy was not allowed to toss back his coldie. He was told he could not pound that Bud. But this raises a question.

Everyone knows 5-year-olds can be a handful. So would it be a good idea to let them self-sedate by drinking beer?

It’s not like they are going to be driving.

OK, OK, I realize there are some problems with that. For one thing, a lot of modern kids are on medications that might not mix well with alcohol.

Then, of course, there’s always the risk that downing a couple of brewskis might prompt young Justin or Ethan to paint their faces, tear off their shirts and start chanting “Dee-Fense! Dee-Fense!”

Worse, at least for kindergarten girls, might be the prospect of glassy-eyed little boys staggering around slurring things like, “Say, Madison, you’re lookin’ good, baby.”

Let’s stick with chocolate milk.

Counting your chickens: A birth announcement arrived at the S-R that listed the child’s name and the names of the parents. But it left off some key details such as the birth date and the baby’s weight. So a staffer phoned the number provided and spoke with the mother.

It turned out that the kid hadn’t actually been born yet.

Today’s Slice question: When does workplace decoration cross the line and become annoying affectation?