We’re just box-office fodder to ‘Predators’

There’s an aspect about “Predators” that’s reminiscent of “Lost.” It involves a group of people who find themselves, suddenly, mysteriously, stuck in the wilds of an unknown jungle. They have no idea why they got there, not even memories of plane crashes - which the characters in J.J. Abrams’ television creation lived through again and again.

No, the characters in “Predators” know only that, as we see through the eyes of the one played by Adrien Brody, they are falling from a great height.  Brody’s character is lucky enough to, one, wake up in time and, two, to get his parachute open before he hits the tall jungle trees. He still hits hard, but this being the movies he bruises only his ego.

Pretty soon he begins running into others: a Mexican killer (Danny Trejo), a Russian soldier (Oleg Tartakov), a couple of Americans (Topher Grace, Walton Goggins) and various others, from an AK-47-carrying African soldier to a samurai-sword-waving Japanese Yakuza and a shapely Latina sniper (Alice Braga). And once they unite, they find that they are being hunted.

This, finally, is something we understand better than they do. At least those of us who have seen the other “Predator” films understand it. Beginning with John McTeirnan’s 1987 original , and proceeding with at least four sequels now, the “Predator” films run on a simple conceit: an inordinately ugly breed of extraterrestrials loves to hunt down residents of other worlds just for the sport of it.

In the original, of course, the bad-ass alien runs into a mud-and-blood-spattered commando played by Arnold Schwarzenegger. This time Arnold lives in the California governor’s mansion, so we’re left with Brody and co. And while Brody’s acting abilities may be far superior to Schwarzenegger’s, his physique can’t compare. And director Nimrod (yes, that’s his name) Antal is no McTeirnan.

The script is no “Lost” either. Despite the fact that Laurence Fishburne shows up for a brief time, the mystery of “Predators” pretty quickly devolves into a one-by-one kill-fest, with the only question involving how much of each character’s story we will learn before they exit, stage right. Grace’s story is strung out the longest, though the payoff is hardly surprising.

Not much about “Predators” is surprising, in fact. Except that at the screening I went to a guy brought with him three young boys. No, the movie doesn’t offer any sex nor any real profanity. But the violence was pretty graphic.

Hope those boys won’t have nightmares tonight. I’m likely to. But I doubt my dreams will do much more than bore me witless.

Below : The trailer for “Predators.: