The Slice: Sounds like it’s time for a rant

With the Inland Northwest’s car stereo-booming season nearly upon us, let’s consider why those throbbing assaults annoy you – the staid, middle-class newspaper reader.

1. You believe that 100 percent of the songs pounded into the public airspace sound exactly the same.

You are correct, of course. Now there’s no more certain way to brand yourself as old and out of it than to disparage the music treasured by today’s alienated youth. But let’s face it. Every one of those high-decibel rants goes: THUMP THUMP THUMP…“Something about bitches/Kill the police!”

To each his own. But melodic, it’s not.

2. It’s inconsiderate.

Right again. But as approximately 0.0 percent of the perpetrators read the newspaper, we would be wasting our breath to scold them here.

3. If you are white, maybe you don’t like angry-looking (or sounding) people of other races.

Well, at least you admit it. But try to remember that the law does not require anyone to put on a happy face just because you feel threatened.

It might be worth keeping in mind that a lot of those performers’ posed hostility is a calculated marketing ploy intended to attract a largely white audience craving an edgy cultural identity.

And remember: This is Spokane. About 97 percent of the young scholars rattling your windows with that distorted noise are, in fact, silly-looking white kids.

4. It’s frustrating to realize that anything you do or say in response to the sonic intrusion would simply lead to brainless unpleasantness that, frankly, is beneath you.

True.

5. You don’t force strangers to listen to the music you like.

Right. But then your life isn’t a ridiculous joke.

Today’s Slice question: Should Washington and Idaho arrange an exchange of political prisoners?