The Slice: Cloudless with a chance of collision

Maybe you’ve bumped into us.

We are the seemingly dazed people who aren’t watching where we are going. That’s because we’re looking up while doing a two-footed, stumbling pirouette.

Well, on behalf of myself and all others around here who did not grow up in the West, allow me to apologize.

You see, we don’t really mean to be a bother. It’s just that a few of us never quite get used to something that happens on a fairly regular basis here.

I’m talking, of course, about the totally blue sky.

Ask some Spokane area residents who grew up in the Northeast or the Midwest. They’ll tell you.

The cloudless sky is a wonder of nature.

Oh sure, there are days in other parts of the country when there aren’t many clouds. That happens.

But the 100 percent cloudless sky – as in, no clouds, nohow, no way – well, that’s pretty much a western thing.

And if it’s something you didn’t grow up with, you don’t quickly take it for granted.

Just wondering: How many Slice readers in Idaho remember when the high school football field in Kellogg was a grassless, dirt gridiron?

Reader survey: If the S-R had a daily roundup headed “Losers in Other Cities,” would you check it out?

Perhaps regular exposure to accounts of low-IQ property crimes, cruelty to animals, child abuse, vandalism, mindless drunken mayhem and moronic gunplay in places from Buffalo to Albuquerque might be good for Spokane area residents.

Sure, it would be depressing. But at least it would serve as a reminder that we aren’t the only place with broken and inadequate people making ludicrous decisions.

Reports sought: If your animal companion attends a “Blessing of the pets” church service, please ask him or her to e-mail The Slice about how it went.

Warm-up question: Did you enjoy Ken Burns’ latest ode to baseball or find it to be just more mytho-poetic crotch-grabbing?

Today’s Slice question: What percentage of Spokane area women think getting dressed up means wearing more jewelry than a Mayan princess?