The Slice: Just a few more pet antics to chew on

Let’s do one more round of “Things Pets Ate” and get this out of our system, so to speak.

Dan Hansen, a friend who used to work for the S-R, collected stories from his colleagues at the Spokane Teachers Credit Union. Here are just a few.

Anastasia Jensen’s dog recently ate the pet-license renewal form for Jensen’s cat.

It’s pretty easy to see through that little scheme, isn’t it? Sure, the dog will let some time go by and then phone the authorities: “Hello, Animal Control? I need to report an unlicensed feline. Better come pick it up.”

Jessica Schafer had a cat that ate toothpaste. “She would foam at the mouth when she ate it,” she said. “But she had great breath.”

Well, that’s fine. But you still need to floss.

Sometimes pets lack subtlety. For instance, Kyle Blacketer’s dog ate the controller to his bark collar.

And Susan Motzny’s black Lab ate a $200 cell phone. Wonder if that triggers roaming charges.

Elizabeth Hooker has a cat that has been known to go into her craft room and steal tape. Maybe the pet is working on some projects of its own. Are cats into scrapbooking?

Lance Kissler has a relative with a dog named Duke that eats Christmas tree tinsel. They know because the tinsel shows up in, uh, festive yard displays.

Some pets make ingestion choices that four out of five veterinary specialists would definitely characterize as contra-indicated.

For instance, a head cone did not prevent Michelle Kurimura-Miller’s dog Roxie from removing, swallowing and digesting the sock and bandage from an injured foot.

But some pets aren’t very good at maintaining plausible deniability. Consider Lisa Quick’s pooches, Keela and Gabe.

They ripped open a beanbag chair. Then, perhaps realizing that they were going to get in trouble, they decided to hide.

Though, upon reflection, holing up inside the mutilated chair might not have been the best decision.

Of course, sometimes pets really are innocent. When it was time for her son to stop using a pacifier, Amy Bippes told the lad that the family’s German shepherd had eaten it.

Wonder if that would taste anything like homework.

Today’s Slice question: Could people in your field benefit from spring training?