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The Slice: Get your little squirts in on the fun
There’s still time to sign up your child for The Slice’s Squirt Gun Camp.
But don’t delay. Residential and day-camper slots are filling up fast.
At The Slice’s Squirt Gun Camp, your son or daughter will experience an intensive crash course in the water-shooting arts and sciences. Children will emerge with a renewed sense of confidence and enhanced capability to savor summer.
Like many modern parents, you no doubt worry about the troubling images your offspring absorb while playing violent video games. You fear that, not having studied the classics, mindless blasting will be their only recourse when playing with squirt guns.
That’s where The Slice’s Squirt Gun Camp can help.
Our certified team of aging baby boomers will work closely with campers to ensure that the kids acquire a fantasy framework that will turn water-shooting playtime into childhood epics.
Through expertly narrated video sessions, interpretive puppetry and hands-on training, campers will learn:
• How to refer to the classic Westerns of film and TV to inform squirt-gun play with a Code of the West foundation, quick-draw prowess and lyrical grandeur.
“What have you heard about me, Shane?”
“I’ve heard that you’re a lowdown, Yankee liar.”
Campers 12 and older can sign up for a language-immersion “Deadwood” seminar. Younger children have the option of attending one-on-one “Gunsmoke”/“Big Valley” tutorials.
• How to transfer the grit and tension of urban Mafia dramas to wet backyard rubouts.
“Honest, Johnny. I wasn’t wearing a wire.”
When the other kids say, “Leave the squirt gun, take the cannoli” your little Madison or Ethan won’t be lost and bewildered.
• How to engage in period combat simulation without fear of embarrassing anachronisms.
• How to play the revenge card as the peace-loving stoic pushed too far.
• How to integrate squirt guns into futuristic space conflicts.
• How to spice up your spy thriller with carefully concealed water balloons.
• How to know when a superhero would be impervious to a fusillade of water streams.
And much, much more. So don’t delay. Enroll your child today.
Today’s Slice question: What’s your No. 1 goal for this summer?