The Slice: Drive-in memories, by the carload

Hey, kids!

You say you are surrounded at this time of year by talkative gray-haired relatives who love to tell stories about madcap adventures at drive-in movie theaters way back when? And you say you wish there was some easy way to determine if any of these tales are true?

Well, your old pal, Uncle Slice, is here to help.

Just consult today’s handy Drive-in Fact or Fiction Guide.

Fact: Stories about wrecked car-door windows might be true. Despite warning signs, some moviegoers did forget to put the speaker back on its pole before leaving.

Fiction: Any yarn that includes “and then I think they had to call out the National Guard.”

Fact: “By the carload” admission pricing did encourage packing station wagons full of teenagers.

Fiction: “One time, I swear, we got 34 kids in my dad’s Oldsmobile.” Demand a recount.

Fact: Things happened in some cars that Ann Landers warned parents about.

Fiction: “So when we came back with the snacks, she jumped out of the back seat and ran off without putting on her blouse.” Chances are, the storyteller is actually thinking of a movie scene.

Fact: Kids did spill beverages inside new cars.

Fiction: “My Dad had driven it home from the dealership just two hours before when I …” Two weeks, you might believe. Same goes for regurgitation stories and the emphatic end of “new car smell.”

Fact: Things happened in some cars that Dear Abby warned parents about.

Fiction: “She was the prettiest girl in school and I was the quarterback.” Doubt it.

Fact: Some teens did use fake ID cards to gain admission to X-rated drive-in screenings.

Fiction: “I was just 17, but I looked like a Vietnam veteran.” Not likely. The more plausible explanation is that the guy in the ticket booth was under instructions to wave in anyone who had cash.

Fact: 1. Some moviegoers did bring lawn chairs. 2. In the right atmospheric conditions, windows could get fogged up. 3. Some people smuggled in beer and got drunk.

Fiction: Stories involving hand-replacing hooks later found dangling from exterior car-door handles.

Today’s Slice question: Do you still have the first trophy you ever won?