The Slice: This might give you something to crow about

Crows are a fact of life in Spokane.

But you’ll find co-existence with these big black birds can be enriched, if you simply take the time to learn a little of their language.

Now true fluency requires years of study and immersion in avian culture. And speaking to crows is usually beyond the human novice’s capability.

But anyone can learn to understand a few simple phrases. Your comprehension of what the birds are saying can be enhanced with one quick, easy lesson.

So let’s get started.

Caw: “Hey, you down there in that SUV. There’s a squirrel about to dash across the street. Run over it.”

Caw Caw: “Hey, kid. What’s in the backpack? Got any snacks? Any potato salad?”

Cawww: “Say there, Chief. That wood you’re burning in the fireplace must be green. Nice going.”

Caaww: “Hey, Tippi Hedren. Wanna see me and my friends go Bodega Bay on this neighborhood?”

CaCaw: “I see you down there behind that bush, cat. What, do you think I just fell off a lentils truck? What a maroon.”

Cawwww: “Wait until you get a load of the winter that’s coming, pal. You’ll be raising a white flag before New Year’s.”

Caw Caw Caw: “That’s what you’re wearing?”

CaCaCaw: “Say what you will about the tenets of paranoid Inland Northwest isolationism, at least it’s an ethos.”

Caaaaw: “Sort of looks like your belt is on the last notch there, Sparky.”

Cahw: “Hey, kid. Go in and get some tacos.”

CaaaCaw: “You cannot have a public policy conversation with marmots. Everything is personal with them.”

Caw Caw Caw Caw: “Slow down, you moron. There are children in this neighborhood.”

Today’s Slice question: Herman Melville’s “Moby-Dick” was first published on this date in 1851. You’ll recall the opening line, “Call me Ishmael.”

Well, a great American novel set in Spokane might open with “Call me …”

A) Caitlin. B) Ralph. C) Irresponsible. D) Mahdysin. E) Sugar Babe. F) Other.