The Slice: Rate your kitty

A lot of Spokane-area residents refer to their cat as a “good kitty.”

But how often is that blanket endorsement truly deserved?

In February 2001, I took a look at how you can determine if your canine is, in fact, a “good dog.”

Now, 11 years later, it is time to consider pets of the feline persuasion.

Compare the following behaviors with your cat’s personal conduct. Then judge for yourself.

Is your cat a good kitty?

(GK indicates “good kitty,” while BK stands for “bad kitty.”)

GK: Administers head butts and shin-rubs when you are feeling down.

BK: Insists that you pet her for 20 minutes and then hisses and bites you to indicate that the session is over.

GK: Throws up on easily cleaned surfaces.

BK: Throws up on the comics page.

GK: Gets along with other pets.

BK: Your other animals refer to him as Vlad the Impaler.

GK: Says hello to your guests.

BK: Has a certain look that makes you question whether that whole “sucks the breath” of infants thing really is a myth.

GK: Rarely complains about the mealtime fare.

BK: Constantly grouses about the Spokane area’s cultural limitations.

GK: Scratches only furniture that already looks mauled.

BK: Thinks nothing of waking you at 2:17 a.m. for no apparent reason.

GK: Helps keep the bed warm on cold nights.

BK: Tries to trip you when you are near the top of the stairs, a la Talky Tina of “Twilight Zone” fame.

GK: Doesn’t say that the shows you watch are moronic.

BK: Knocks stuff over and then gives you that “What?” look.

GK: Accepts belly rubs.

BK: Gets mentioned when local veterinarians swap horror stories.

GK: Unbelievably tolerant of toddlers’ roughhousing.

BK: You didn’t actually see what happened, but your kid won’t come out from under the covers.

GK: Doesn’t perforate important papers.

BK: Likes to see how far she can send cat litter flying with vigorous mule-kicks.

GK: Always seems glad to see you when you come home.

Today’s Slice question: Do people with zero interest in college basketball sort of dread March?