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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: Angry birds obviously know cats’ motives

If you have been hearing a lot of raucous chatter from nest-guarding birds near your home, there might be a simple explanation.

It could be that they are addressing their remarks to outdoor cats down below.

I would tell you what they’re saying, but this is a family newspaper. Besides, I’m pretty sure you can guess.

But it’s worth noting that birds never thought those “Kitten thinks of nothing but murder all day” posters were anything but accurate reporting.

Cause and effect: What are the chances that the moment you get on the phone at home and start entering a long sequence of numbers — as in, say, phone banking or refilling prescriptions — someone will come into the room and start talking to you?

If you were going to make the case against K-12 summer vacation: What would you stress?

A) Global competitiveness. B) We’re no longer an agrarian society. C) Begrudge teachers their time off. D) Learning loss. E) Kids don’t actually relate to the outdoors anymore anyway. F) Summer experiences/ opportunities simply broaden gap between haves and have-nots. G) Other.

This date in Slice history (1995): Today’s Slice question: What objects have members of your family gotten stuck in ear canals?

(One subsequent answer involved a bean that eventually sprouted in a kid’s ear, necessitating a trip to an emergency room.)

Today’s Slice question: Was some of the six-shooter marksmanship portrayed in certain classic Old West movies even remotely possible?

A target-shooting sequence in “Shane” comes to mind. And not long after Montgomery Clift’s character first appears in “Red River” he and another guy put on a display of shooting accuracy that seems virtually impossible. For instance, keeping a can up in the air as if playing hacky sack.

So I wonder what those who actually know something about handgun prowess think when they see such scenes. Could John Wayne’s character in “Red River” have had any reasonable expectation that he would crease Clift’s cheek with a round and not put it through his head (and thus put a damper on the prospects for a happy ending)?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Remember, here in Spokane we celebrate Father’s Month.

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