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This column reflects the opinion of the writer. Learn about the differences between a news story and an opinion column.

The Slice: Are you all about RVs?

So you have been fantasizing about RVs and wonder if this means you are no longer cool.

Two points.

1. Chances are, you were never cool.

2. You live here. Maybe you’re right on schedule.

In any event, here’s a Q-and-A to help you put your RV lust in perspective.

Q. Is it normal to want an RV if I didn’t care for the movie “Lost in America”?

A. Sure. Many bowlers are not fans of “The Big Lebowski.”

Q. Can you get bumper stickers that say “If this RV’s a-rockin, don’t come a-knockin”?

A. Probably. But your extended family will thank you if you do not.

Q. I keep hearing about friends renting RVs to go to family reunions and other gatherings. Why?

A. For all the reasons that make RVs appealing. They’re cozy and provide modern-living amenities. Most important, it would offer a refuge from Uncle Dale’s political rants.

Q. What about fuel costs?

A.

Q. Is the movie “Paul” an accurate depiction of the RV experience?

A. Just the part about visitors from outer space being a part of life in the West.

Q. Remember the confusion about the look-alike RVs in that episode of “Frasier”? Should I worry about that?

A. Not if you lock your door.

Q. What if I don’t want to park at a Wal-Mart?

A. That’s up to you.

Q. What are hook-ups?

A. That has something do with young people and hormones.

Q. How will I feel behind the wheel of my big rig?

A. It’s usually best to get your self-esteem and carbon footprint issues squared away before making a significant purchase.

Q. Are modern RVs bear-proof?

A. Yes, unless you invite them in to play cards.

Q. Do RVers have a summer mecca, like motorcycle riders and that place in South Dakota?

A. It’s called Glacier National Park.

Q. If I get an RV am I required to adopt a small dog?

A. No, but it might enrich both your lives. There are plenty of good dogs in Spokane-area shelters just waiting to climb aboard and go for a ride.

Q. What about tailgaters honking because they want to pass?

A. The fact that they want to exceed the speed limit isn’t really your problem.

Q. How much will I save on lodging?

A. It depends.

Q. Why am I interested in RVs now when I never was before?

A. Maybe it’s the weather.

Today’s Slice question: What family has the most people involved in Hoopfest?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. When was the last time you ran through a sprinkler?

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