The Slice: It’s about time marmots learn Photoshop skills

I’m always trying to think of ways to enhance the reading experience for The Spokesman-Review’s long-suffering subscribers.

One demonstration of my commitment to this goal has been to create April Fools spoofs.

It’s a long list of gags, going back more than 20 years. Though it was far from the most elaborate foray into fiction, my favorite might have been the mini-biography of (nonexistent) wild woman food editor Dorothy James Dean — complete with a sizzling photo of actress Rita Hayworth.

I’m not alone in playing this game, of course. Ages ago, The Inlander produced an April Fools S-R parody in which my column was bylined “Page Turner,” which I have to admit is pretty good.

So anyway, April 1 will be here before we know it. What to do?

Well, here’s my idea. Have you ever seen those classic album covers where the images of the people have been replaced with pictures of cats? Sure. There are a zillion of them on the Web, from the Beatles’ “Let It Be” to The Clash’s “London Calling” to the Beach Boys’ Christmas album. Cats, cats, cats.

So what if on April Fools Day, which is a Sunday, the newspaper replaces all the faces in photos appearing in that day’s edition with marmot faces?

Seeing marmot heads atop the bodies of national and international newsmakers might make a refreshing change. But locally flavored swapping is where this would really get fun.

Mayor with a marmot face? Congresswoman with a marmot face? Embattled police officer with a marmot face?

Readers would love that.

And the news pages would be just the beginning.

How about a marmot-faced point guard driving for a layup? Or a marmot-headed goalie sprawling to make a save?

I would not suggest tampering with the obits, of course.

But what about that full-page ad that used to run in the Sunday Today section? You know, the one featuring all those society pictures?

We could revive it for the day, because wouldn’t you enjoy seeing convivial marmots at a gala or smiling rodents at a wine tasting?

Today’s Slice question: What would Charles Dickens have thought of 2012 Spokane?