The Slice: Canine carrier broke the news

One final note on dogs fetching the morning paper.

Lorri Stonehocker told about her golden retriever, Rainbeau. The delivery usually goes well. But there was that one time when inserts from a Christmas season Sunday newspaper wound up spread over much of the Inland Northwest.

A previous family dog, a mixed breed named T.J., used to go get the paper, too. When people would ask what kind of canine T.J. was, Stonehocker’s husband, Bob, would say “He’s a Spokesman Retriever.”

Slice answer: In the matter of what you would like a magical vending machine to dispense, Dave Frank had an idea. “Patience, humility and perseverance – especially if they all came in a really big chocolate bar.”

So then, you would just have to figure out how many calories all that was worth to you.

The silent seal of approval: When Ron Weidman first visited the home of the woman he would eventually marry, her dachshund did something unprecedented.

It didn’t bark.

“So that woman decided I must be a good guy.”

They tied the knot four months later. And the little dog continued to tolerate Weidman while the rest of the world’s population got yapped at.

Imagining Charles Dickens reacting to 2012 Spokane: “Please, sir, may I have another … city?” – Larry Zimmerman

Needles and fainting: As a teenager, Leonna Bowers once reacted to getting a shot by passing out. It was at a county health building, where she proceeded to fall off a stool.

It happens. Ask any nurse,

But for Bowers, it went from bad to worse. When she went down for the count, one of her legs came in contact with a hot steam pipe. “Mercy, that smarted longer than the injection site.”

Slice answer: Do kids pick up on it when unrelated adults find their parents attractive? Judy Hubbard said the answer must be “yes.”

“While shopping at a local supermarket, my son, Cory, age 8, admonished a gentleman with ‘What are you looking at? She’s my mother.’”

Today’s Slice question: How often have you laughed so hard that you lost control of bodily functions?