Total Recall: Christmas Wishes

I saw that house on Third Street this morning. There’s a deer. There are lots of signs. I wonder if it’s like going to Santa’s workshop in the North Pole? With that in mind, I present another installment of Total Recall: A Trip to the Santa’s workshop. Fiction Alert: Pure fiction here. Satire. Not intended to represent real people or actual events. Mary: “Hello Grumpy Gus. Are you really Santa’s cousin?” Grumpy Gus sighs, “Yes. Mary. What would you like in your recall?” Mary: “I want Mayor Bloem and Mike Kennedy to suffer and be humiliated in front of the all their friends at Rotary. Then I want them to be flogged in the center of town. I want their children tarred and feathered.” Grumpy Gus: “Too many sugar cookies Mary. I will talk to your parents about it. Next.” Frank: “I want 10,000 signatures.” More below.

Grumpy Gus: “Now Frank, all the little elves are very busy this time of year. I think 1,000 signatures is a far more realistic number. Next.”

Kathy: “I want to be Mayor.”

Grumpy Gus: “Well now. We’d all like to be mayor, but you have to be elected first. Besides little Kathy, you’re already a state representative. That’s more important than being a mayor. Next.”

Steve and Dan: “We want to be Mayor TOO.”

Grumpy Gus: “Settle down boys. Settle down. You can’t both be mayor at the same time. One of you is going to have to decide. Come back next week.”

Steve: “But the Bible says I get to be Mayor.”

Grumpy Gus: “I don’t think it does. Run along boys. Gus has some cigarettes to smoke.”